


heart with a gaping hole

by wintrywinds



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-07-23 14:10:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7466349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintrywinds/pseuds/wintrywinds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>written for the prompt "when are you coming back?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	heart with a gaping hole

He tilts his chin sideways looking away from the phone, he’d delay looking at the reply for however long his anxiety would allow. Niall’s fallen out of habit to get an instant reply from Harry, usually there’s a gap of four to five hours or even a day considering the time difference between wherever they’ve set up camp.

_Who’s this_? Harry replies. Niall rolls his eyes. _Fuck u_. Niall writes back immediately.  Warmth spreads around his face when the dots appear instantly. He mentally draws up the clock for America and is taken aback with the fact that Harry’s texting him at eleven in the morning.

His phone vibrates in his hand, once, twice, and he almost falls off the bed when his phone flashes with Harry’s call.

“What? Did you die?” Harry chuckles softly as soon as Niall presses accept, “Might be a bit tipsy ’kay.”

Niall pulls a face and presses his face into the pillow, lets Harry’s voice sink in and says, “Hello, why are you drinking so early in the morning?”

Harry hiccups before speaking, “Just.” his voice comes out groggy, like he’s just taken in some thick fluid, “I hope I’m not interrupting,” Harry says. Niall concludes that he is drunk, but not that drunk, cause _drunk_ Harry is silly and pointless.

Niall shakes his head and replies, “Nope, I’m tucked away in bed,” He twists his finger around the lace of his bottom, “Was actually planning to get some sleep.” And a good one that too, he changed the bed sheets, vacuumed the house, cleaned the windows, emptied the fridge, did a load of laundry, and was in the process of chucking away his bottoms at five in the evening when this clever(stupid) tweet showed up on his timeline. That’s exactly the way he’d linked it to Harry, not expecting a reply so early in the day.

 Harry’s always got some place to be and new people to meet and that’s exactly how Niall missed him in America. Harry had to bless an event with his presence, right two seconds after his flight landed and Niall’s was supposed to depart. It’s been a few good months and he’s wondered almost every day since then, what if they could’ve met, what if Niall could’ve been less stubborn and rescheduled his flight, does Harry not feel this urgent need to see Niall’s face?  Because after spending a chunk of five years with Harry, a lot of things remind Niall of him. A lot.

He can almost sense a hint of disappointment when Harry speaks up again, “Oh, I guess I should let you get to it then.”

Urgency floods through Niall, he sits up straight in his bed, like that would keep Harry on the phone, “Haz.”

“Nialler.”

 Niall leans back against the headboard, “How are you?” He says calmly, at least he hopes he sounds it.

Harry coughs, “Fairly well, was actually gonna text you,” there’s a slight pause before he speaks again, “But you beat me to it.”

“Like always.” Niall laughs. There’s a soft shuffling sound and a few slangs coming out from Harry’s side of the world and Niall goes slack in the bed.  He rolls around and laughs and listens to Harry worry about the movie that’s ready to be packed up and how he’s missing his mum and sister and the lightness he feels at not having to wake up at the ass crack of dawn.

“No jokes about me despising to wake early,” Harry breathes, “I don’t even wake up for the runs and it’s been terrible. I haven’t stepped out of my bed in foreverr.”

This surprises Niall, because waking up before the world to run had been a constant in Harry’s schedule, no matter the level of exhaustion. Niall feels worry building up in his body.

“Shit, how long has it been?”

Harry huffs loudly, “Two days—

“Oh god, Harr—

  “NO, like, they’re gonna take it in for editing soon and I’m literally shitting myself. Like everyone’s finished filming their bits and everything and I’m so, so scared.”

“Tell me you’ll at least die in the movie.” Niall says.

“Why do you want me to die in it?”

Niall sighs as-matter-of-factly, “Cause if you don’t die, then what’s the point?” He can almost picture Harry’s face when the choking and coughing sound filters through the phone.

“The point Niall would be to—I’m gonna be singing in the movie.” Harry says too quickly.

Niall bends his knee to work through the itch in his ankle, he’s not really surprised at this revelation. He’d met a wonderful man backstage at one of the events he’d attended dated a few weeks back. Johnson, had been enthusiastic about running into Niall, straight from the sets of Dunkirk, the thin man had chatted up Niall all night about Harry, babbling bits and pieces of insider information. Niall hadn’t been sure then, about what to do with this information, so later when he went out for drinks with few of his friends and their friends, he’d innocently and drunkenly spilled it into Conor’s mouth when the lad had slowly grinded  on to Niall’s dick.

“I know.” Niall says softly, because what else can he say.

“I know you know,” Harry laughs, “I didn’t believe it when Johnny told me he told you, like about the singing bit, was—was expecting you to call back much earlier Niall.” His breath catches in his throat and Niall squeezes his eyes shut. The stubbornness that had settled into his and Harry’s relationship from his front for some time now leaves Niall bare and guilty for not returning Harry’s calls. 

Niall holds the end of the pillow, picturing it as Harry’s hand, “When are you coming back?” _Are you coming back_ , he wants to say.

“Dunno. You coming here any time soon?”

He drags the end of the pillow closer to his chest and says, “Nah, not really. Got a bunch of stuff planned out here.”

“Anything specific holding you back?” Harry says quietly.

Niall doesn’t say anything for some time, just edges away from the pillow and considers hanging up on him, considering how long Harry’s gone without speaking, he’s probably drifted off to sleep. The moment Niall lifts his arm to end the call, Harry sneezes on the other end and mumbles something Niall can’t comprehend, “Bless you.” Niall murmurs.

“You should come see me sometime,” Harry says lowly, “Been long enough without seeing you, can go only so long.”

He’s shaking his head to a no before he even realises it, “Haz, I—

“It’s okay, just promise you’ll come and watch the movie with me,” Harry sighs, “At least fake promise me and make my day.”

Niall presses his fingertips together and smiles, “Promise to get flowers and wrap your arms around me the entire time.”

“I promise.”

“Okay.”

“This time I’ll kiss you when everyone’s looking.”

There’s nothing to distract Niall from this conversation, it hits him hard, the stillness of everything around him in contrast to his insides. Harry’s ragged breathing calming and disrupting him all at once.

“Even if no one’s looking, it’ll be shit, it’s always utter shit.” Niall says quietly.

“Heyy, you love that shit.” Harry says too quickly.

Niall desists from replying with a big _I DO, come back to me immediately_. It’s taken a long time for him to admit to himself, that between him and Harry, space is unbearable, and for the longest of times that’s all there has been between them.

“Can I go sleep now?”

Harry makes a whining sound, “Will you call soon?”

“Dunno, do you want me to?”

“Always want you to, never gonna say no to you, y’know.”  Harry tells him like it’s the easiest thing to do.

That’s the last thing he hears from Harry, empty words and an unspoken bye sitting tightly at the tip of his tongue. Niall sighs and taps the screen, rechecking his inbox for the conformation of table for two, he pushes the phone away from him after deleting Harry from his call logs. He spreads his arms across the bed and goes to sleep. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
